Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A New Year a New Way

With the holidays behind along with 2009, I am looking forward to a fresh and new start for 2010. The past year has been challenging, with PeterRay entering school, Sophia spreading her wings a bit more and Peter & I as parents dealing with life and its tribulations I am hopeful 2010 will shed some light on all of us. So with that I am happy to say I've started 2010 with me out of the kids bed. For those of you who know me, know I have been sleeping with both my babies from the time they were born. I managed to move my spare king size bed into their bedroom and make comfy of it for the the three of us. Just as i tried to blame them for wanting to sleep with me this past week proved me wrong. This new venture actually started off over a year ago with bedding, decorations and paint color. I dragged my feet as I usually do when I really don't want to confront the truth, I just didn't know the truth as clear as I do now.
With PeterRay being on a 2 week brake from school by week 2 we started getting a little cabin fever and with no plan I started moving furniture out and before I knew it I was painting the room blue and pink. By day 2 the 2 twin beds were put into place along with the year old bedding, canapies, throw rugs and so on. Although everything seemed to fall into place I strung it out for another couple of days having the kids sleep in our spare room which now housed the king size bed; my excuse was the room still smelled like paint?? Finally this past Sunday PeterRay asked when he was going to be able to sleep in his new room and bed. I felt horrible, felt like I've been holding him back, felt like I'd been complaining about sleepless uncomfortable nights that were really the best nights of my life. So this past Sunday as eight o'clock came around I tucked my little angels into their newly decorated bedroom with twin beds made up special for each of them with their favorite blankets and all. To my surprise they fell asleep without a peep, I on the other hand didn't sleep very well. I kept checking in on them, waiting for one of them to wake and ask for me to join him or her. But no doing did this happen, it was me all alone at 12am, 2am, 4am and on. By 6:30am the kids woke up happy, refreshed and as if they'd been sleeping without me forever. I on the other hand was sleepy and a bit sad, my babies were more than ready to sleep on their own in their own room, more ready than I think I will always be.
I don't usually make a new years resolution, but maybe this year I will attempt letting go, try watching instead of leading, try listening instead of telling, try accepting instead of denying. I want to be a better Mother, Wife, Friend, Daughter, Niece, Cousin and Human Being. This all comes from the core of my soul I guess, my Paster read some beautiful scripture this past week some of it I don't know if I understood as clear and I'd like but what I did understand was in order for one self to be rounded in god you have to walk a straight life; no detours. I am attempting to walk as straight as I know possible, it's not easy and I guess thats the test, how much are you willing to put into this so that you teach your children who you are and who you want them to be....

1 comment:

  1. Good for you JoAnn! I have no doubt that you will accomplish every one of those goals...


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