Friday, May 6, 2011

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth...

Where do I begin? The beginning as God did.  Five weeks ago Peter was rushed to the emergency paramedics stating he was having a massive heart attack. As they rushed him off a million things ran through my brain; why him, why now, guilt, sadness, lost, scared.  By the time the ambulance met me, me at the doors of St. Josephs (yes I beat them to the hospital--go figure) a Cardiologist was awaiting his arrival and quickly diagnosed him not having a heart attack but instead diagnosed him with Pericarditis. Pericarditis acts just as a heart attack, but isn't. In fact the heart is fine however, your sack around your heart (paricard) has inflammation and fluid surrounding your heart to make an EKG look as if one is having a heart attack. Speeding up five weeks later my husband is home finally. With lots of trial tests, meds, weeks and I mean weeks in the hospital and finally surgery he is home.

What I learned from all of this. I love my husband as is. He's like a good old tag sale item with no return.  The kind of item you really love but think in the back of you mind is it that good, is it necessary, can I live without it or will it just crowd my shelves.  My realization is I don't want to live without him, he's got lots of great qualities that in the course of time, parenting and life you put on the back shelf and forget they are there. The necessities of him being around me is LOVE a love that can't really be priced, weighed or measured.  He's a husband who's always and I mean always in the front of my shelf. And maybe at times I'd like him to sit back but I knew what I married six years ago and I too sometimes forget one of the qualities I fell in love with was how in front of you he was.  My husband isn't perfect and is for sure rough around the edges but guess what so am I. 

With the weeks that followed Peter's health I was able to multi task taking care of our home, our children, him via the hospital and most of all dig deep and figure me out.  I know I haven't figured everything but this I know for sure....

While Peter and I are on earth I want to be with him. And when it's our time to go to heaven I'd like to be with him there too! 

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