Saturday, October 1, 2011

Alarm Clocks

First Day of School 2011
1  Second Grader + 1 Preschooler = 2-1/2hrs for Mom 

 A Kiss Goodbye from his bestfriend and little Sister...

 Ready to meet Ms. Johnson

 Watch out Bill Gates....

 How perfect a class with a western theme! My Cowboy in his element!

First Day of School Lunch visit from his 2 favorite Girls a family ritual!
And so I bragged about the 2-1/2hrs. of free time I was going to have when the kids started school. Lesson learned don't brag about unknown feelings. As I dropped PeterRay off to his new school the butterflies began, we were greeted by my good friend Vickie and her PTA friends the bell rang and I felt pretty good. Note pretty good not great, I had 3 more hours left with my baby and by noon I was supposed to be free of kids. Turned out the 2-1/2hr break I was bragging about didn't mean a thing to me as we parted at noon that afternoon. I found myself in a daze, feeling literally heartbroken. I called my BFF to console me and as we weeped together she assured me Sophia would be OK. Maybe she was right I thought as I  caught my breath in the Target bathroom. However one thing was for sure I wasn't alright. Preschool is overrated as I tried to convince myself, she can write her name, knows her ABC's and can count to 20, knows her shapes and colors. What was all this drama really for?  As the days and weeks are passing turns out we both are having a tough time being apart from each other. I guess the real heartache is will she ever feel this way again about me. The longing to be by my side? Wanting my company? Helping me travel around town running errands and talking to me about her likes and dislikes. So many of my friends have children and constantly remind me of how fast time goes by and to enjoy it now because in a few years she wont want to be around me. This I truly believe is where the real heartache stemmed from. I blog and journal for my children, for the what ifs and the just in case's. What if they forgot how much I love them. How I love talking with them over P&J's and hearing how they perceive things. How I love the choices they make while I'm driving and ask me so politely to change my country music to Gods music. How Peter Ray constantly wants to hold my hand in public and be my little partner until Daddy gets home or how Sophia out of know where will tell me your the best mommy every. In the past I was always so anxious for the next step, what was around the corner what my future had in store for me. Now all I want is time, I want the clock of life to slow down so I can relish a bit longer in this wonderful life of motherhood God gave me. Wish I could set an alarm clock and set far far into the future.....

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